Article Content Provider’s Chris McElroy | Namecritic Scams

Chris Earns Less Than A McDonalds’ Employee and ‘i’m lovin’ it’

Posted in Chris McElroy by namecriticscam on January 30, 2009

mcdonalds

Namecritic claims to have been a journalist in the past, citing 1998 as when he got started. Not many people get involved in journalism when they’re 40, especially when they have no college eduction. But, that didn’t stop Chris!

He says he got started in 1998. He also claims he got started in online business 12 years ago. How does that work out? It was obviously another part-time job. As Chris now works as a virtual assistant, it means one of two things happened: he got sacked, or he headed on to pastures new. Or, there’s the third option. That it is all just a lie to make you believe he’s experienced enough to write articles.

Following our scoop on Chris’ job, an assistant from Assistant For Real Estate has got in touch. We have found out that Kandra pays a whopping $5.20 an hour. That means Chris left his job as a journalist to earn less than a middle manager in Kazakhistan.

Chris is one of the most poorly educated journalists ever to enter the field, if he’s telling the truth. His writing is plagued with comma splices and disagreeing pronouns and antecedents, not to mention those dastardly split infinitives. To put things in perspective, that’s the same as a math teacher who thinks pie is something you eat for a nutritious snack.

I don’t believe he ever worked as a journalist. If he did, he must have got sacked as he now earns $5.20 an hour and he works for a company that helps real estate agencies with their admin. His jobs’s as safe as a nuclear bomb in the hands of Osama Bin Laden.

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Whoopsadaisy

Posted in Cringeworthy by namecriticscam on January 23, 2009
A book containing a tip or two for Chris

A book containing a tip or two for Chris

Namecritic is an SEO, so it’s hilarious that he’s being destroyed in the search engine rankings for his own name, Chris McElroy, by a Realtor. What’s that little bit funnier is that we’re outranking him for his own name too! He obviously doesn’t know what he is doing when it comes to SEO, but does he know what he is doing when it comes to domains?

Well, there is certainly evidence to the contrary. Chris claims to have got started in the domain industry business 12 years ago, earning the moniker “Namecritic” for his sharp eye and worldly perspective on the domain industry. Or, so he likes to tell people!

Today I got thinking: why on earth doesn’t Chris own chrismcelroy.com or christophermcelroy.com? You would think such an early entrant into the domain industry would have thought this to be obvious. But, nope. He never got around to it. What makes it worse is that he could have picked up christophermcelroy.com in 2007. Not everyone wants to own their name dot com; but with an ego the size of Chris McElroy’s, it’s hard to imagine why not.

Tidlywinks, it’s time to sharpen up.

Scammer From Hell, Or Is It That His Customers Are Starting Their Periods?

Posted in Article Content Provider by namecriticscam on January 23, 2009
"Will you still love me if I wet the bed", asks the child fitting Chris' target demographic.

"Will you still love me if I wet the bed", asks the child fitting Chris' prime demographic.

Quantcast’s facts ‘n’ figures on ArticleContentProvider.com paint a bleak picture. 115 people visit his website each month. The average conversion rate for a website is 2.9%. That means Chris could be getting as many as 3.35 customers a month!

But, hold your horses; it gets worse when we look at the demographic data.  28% of Chris’ customers are under the age of 18, and from that it would be reasonable to assume at least 10% have yet to shave; 3% are currently wearing diapers; 7% still believe in Santa and 6% have wet the bed in the last three months.

We know Chris likes them young, but we don’t think that age group will be doing much article marketing! That means (3.35- 28%) 2.41 buyers a month, when you, perhaps wrongly, assume that age group isn’t already built into the conversion rate.

I actually think Chris getting 2.41 buyers a month from his 115 visits is overly optimistic. The reason being that Chris also runs an article directory on his website, which is bound to be accountable for a large percentage of his traffic. And that, folks, ain’t going to be converting much browsers into buyers. Writers are also going to be paying him visits, and the above referenced article also claims that conversion rates are likely to not be as good among small businesses. And this business is now tiny!

This is yet further proof that Chris is picking up his customers from freelance websites and other platforms outwith his control.

Chuck Crawford Sucks…Chris

Posted in Chuck Crawford by namecriticscam on January 23, 2009

Today someone was a searchin’ for Chuck Crawford’s fax number, or so I would imagine. They used the phrase: “Chuck Crawford Web Design fax” to come across our website. That’s bound to suck for Chuck. Now they’ll know the truth about Mexico’s Pablo Escobar of the digital age.

When it comes to web design Chuck sucks, when it comes to Chris and Chuck they both suck each other in equal measure.

When it comes to web design Chuck sucks; when it comes to Chris and Chuck, they both suck each other.

Chuck must feel like Chris has walked on up to him, pulled down his pants and took a long and firm s— on his head. He has then proceeded to rub his hands in said s— and then gently massaged it into Chuck’s breasts and pubic region.

Chuck’s losing clients day after day thanks to the diligent efforts of Namecritic Scam, even if we say so ourselves. Customers looking to buy from him are being stopped by us, and his existing customers are realizing Chuck’s a scammer before they get scammed. For some, though, it’ll be too late. I am shocked that in so little time, so many people could come to our website using these search queries.

It’s gettin’ harder and Chuck’s perturbed. Is it worth keeping company with a man who’s losin’ me money left and right? One thing’s for sure: Chuck’s the daddy. This blog gets almost nearly as many visitors searching for Chuck than Chris, and Chris’ the focal point.

A Textbook Example Of Incomepetence

Posted in Cringeworthy by namecriticscam on January 21, 2009

Around a week ago someone tried to reset the password for this blog and our Google Mail account. We are up against self-professed technology experts, and this is the best they could do! Stupid or incompetent, Chris and Chuck have to learn to move with the times. Resetting passwords manually worked great when everyone used their surname as their password. Most people stopped using tactics like that in 1985. Failure, after failure, after failure. Your luck, Chris, could be about to change.

I know your struggling to get by and you’re feeling down in the dumps after splitting up with the love of your life, but why not treat yourself to a nice book? This could hold the keys to you getting your reputation back on track!

Recommended reading for Namecritic

Recommended reading for Namecritic

John Kerr’s A Fictional Character Or A Moron

Posted in Namecritic by namecriticscam on January 12, 2009

In typical fashion we receive our second ever comment sticking up for Chris, not openly written by Chris or his employees. The first one came from Miami and, shock horror, so too does this one.

John Kerr believes we have too much time on our hands and nobody cares about Chris’ antics. I find that comment to be outrageous, considering Chris has admitted to stealing from a charity. I agree that nobody overly cares that Chris f—s 19 year olds, and can’t hold an erection for a reasonable amount of time. We didn’t start this site with a view to finding out that Chris is incapable of fulfilling his manly duties. That was just a little bonus we came across along the way. In a previous article, we interviewed one of Chris’ neighbors. She seems to think Chris is religious, and this girl thinks his behavior is anything but. It might, therefore, be relevant to Chris’ neighbors and church buddies.

It isn’t just people that have been scammed by Chris who care; people who live near Chris care too. Now we receive lots of traffic from in and around Chris’ area. They want to know what their neighbor is capable of.

Rather than being a mindless idiot like Chris and his cronies, why not address the questions and issues raised in this blog? Why not tell me why Chris stole from his charity, or why Chuck created his Wiki page? There are so many questions that need answered, and yet nobody will answer them. This blog is not going to end this year or next year. It’s going to stick around whether John Kerr likes it or not.

So, John Kerr, if Chris and Chuck are as clean as a whistle, why on earth do we receive visitors to our website with the following search queries:

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How To: Destory Someone’s Credability Using Twitter

Posted in Namecritic by namecriticscam on January 10, 2009

Chris McElroy is a notorious scammer among certain circles, however some of the people he’s closest to haven’t heard of his deepest, darkest secret. Chris has stolen money from charity and lots of other evil stuff. He is the owner and chief bottle washer for Namecritic Inc, the company behind such services as Article Content Provider. We wanted a quick and effective way to communicate this message, causing maximum impact.

  1. The first phase was to set up a Namecritic Twitter account. I decided to personalize it with a picture and background image fitting to Namecritic’s character and our purpose.
  2. Secondly, I checked out who Chris is following and, more importantly, who is following him. This is a great way to get an idea of the people I would like to target.
  3. I started following the people in Chris’ social circle. They all seemed very friendly, and I started to interact with them.
  4. 5 hours later and this website has had 620 visitors from Twitter.

Twitter made it possible for me to lazer-target the exact demographic I was looking for: people who know Chris. I have already received a flood of direct messages from people who know him.

Twitter is a powerful tool to target someone’s social network and destroy their credability quickly. Over 5% of Chris’ Twitter followers have already sent me a message, and the majority will have already read what I have to say.  If that’s what can be done in 5 hours, what can be done in 5 weeks?

Chris McElroy Dates 19 Year Old For 2 Memorable Weeks

Posted in Cringeworthy by namecriticscam on January 10, 2009
Chris McElroy's little birdy

Chris McElroy's little birdy

Well, Mr McElroy has been a busy boy. Not content with writing articles, deploying scams, and working for assistantforrealestate.com, Chris found a girlfriend. 19 year old Cyndi wasn’t happy with the way things ended, and has been in touch with Namecritic Scam to fill us in with the latest gossip. Chris McElroy was unavailable for comment.

Chris “made love” to her around 6 times during their relationship that lasted only 13 days. During that time he wined and dined her, and even found time to show off to her about his business. He told her that he was an internet celebrity and he has his own “successful internet marketing business”. What a catch, thought Cyndi.

Asked is she was put off by Chris’ age and appearance, Cyndi said that didn’t bother her. Fortunately for Chris, she says she doesn’t judge a book by its cover. Cyndi did admit she was surprised that he had a religious front, but that his behavior was anything but religious. “I probably witnessed him breaking at least 5 of the 7 deadly sins, and that was in 2 weeks”.

She says Chris was too possessive and didn’t appreciate that she wasn’t looking for a long-term serious relationship. “In 20 years time he’ll dead, so I don’t think we’re a great match for something long term.” She was just looking to get f-c–d.

Cyndi is a liberal chick by her own admission, even writing on her MySpace page:

WHY CAN MEN SLEEP WITH A DIFFERENT GIRL EVERY NIGHT AND BE CALLED A PIMP. BUT IF A GIRL SLEEPS WITH A DIFFERENT GUY THEN THEY’RE WHORES. I THINK WHAT IS GOOD FOR ONE IS GOOD FOR THE OTHERS. BECAUSE IF IT WASN’T FOR THE DIFFERENT GIRLS THE GUYS COULDN’T BE PIMPS. AND IF IT WASN’T FOR GUYS GIRLS WOULDN’T BE CALLED WHORES. DO THE MATH. I THINK YOU SHOULD DO WHO AND WHAT YOU WANT AT THE TIME THAT YOUR IN. BECAUSE YOU CAN’T GO BACK TO IT

Anyone who posts this on their MySpace page is asking for a good pounding, thought Chris. He sent her an email in early December inviting her to meet up.

On their first date, Chris was kind enough to take her out for dinner. She says he was a bit old fashioned, but that she liked that. Later that night she went back to his place, and they had sex. Their sex life, she claims, was boring and often plagued with signs of old age. “He sometimes really struggled to keep it up”, she said. Young Cyndi just couldn’t feel fulfilled.

Their relationship, though, didn’t end due to Chris’ troubles in the bedroom, claims Cyndi. Chris wanted their relationship to be exclusive, and she didn’t. He would get very ratty when she would text other boys. “He was way too jealous for the stage we were at”, she claims.

Cyndia and Chris could have been America’s Hot New Couple of 2009. It’s a shame things didn’t work out.